Leaving: Part Two, Saying Goodbye

Leaving, was actually the hardest thing I think I have ever done. Really. I mean I can do a lot of physical stuff. But emotionally, this took all I had. I wondered every day if this was the right thing to do.


You should know that a year ago, June, we were unemployed, and Peter said to me - "Hey want to move to S.A.?" (BTW, I don't use the full names becuase I am still paranoid, so just fill the real words in in your head..I don't want my blog coming up in a google search by scary people, alright? Sheesh.) My response? This will tell how well you know me. My response was, SURE! And I meant it. We have been through A LOT of really tough employment times in last few years. Jobs and money have, at times, been hard to come by. So the thought of working for an estalished company sounded great to me. And we have talked since the day we met, about wanting to live overseas.


As the search for work went by, so did our money. We used our entire savings, living off of it for six months. And the only people that kept talking to us, was the company we now work for. It was a long process, but we are finally here. And before making the decision to commit, we took it to the Lord. We prayed and fasted to know if this was right for us. And I can't tell you the peace that was given. I knew it was right from the first time I prayed about it.


Trouble is, sometimes it's hard to remember that, when fear and sorrow are coming at you in all directions. We were REALLY happy in Utah. More happy than I ever thought we would be. Peter had taken a job last fall, while not knowing the outcome of the job offer here. It didn't nearly pay the bills, but he really liked it, and it was enough that would be able to keep our house. So life wasn't so bad, when the job offer finally came. We took the offer and Peter left. As you know, this was harder than I thought as well. (This has been a year of GROWING, our family theme, funnily enough, last year was "I can do hard things". Little did I know how hard 2009-2010 was going to be.) Peter had been over here for nearly six months, by the time we actually left. And more than anything, I think we just wanted to be together again as a family, no matter where that may have been.


Saying good bye to our dear friends was terrible. The kids were sad, and I cried. I have a couple of really close friends in Utah. Lot's of my closest friends and family live outside, and I only see them once a year anyway. So while I can't see them if I want to now, which stinks, it's not like I saw them all that often anyway. So saying goodbye to my everyday friends stunk. I hated it!


But not as much as saying goodbye to my local family.


Truly, it was horrible.


I sobbed. Really. I had cried myself to sleep at night now and then in the weeks prior to this. (If you don't know, I don't cry a whole lot. Like a few times a year. So this was serious crying for me) But saying goodbye to family is the worst. Some of my family doesn't live near me, or was out of town at the time. Funny how this is easier. It's easier to not say goodbye. Even though you know it is goodbye. Anyway, I did say goodbye to Mindy in person. That was more crying, hugging, make-up running (hers, not mine) sobbing, and crying some more, than I want to experience again. Then the kids started in, especially Claire. We were all a wreck.

We had been to lunch as a family, then back to my house for final farewells. Mindy and I have been close since we were kids. She's who I go to, still, when I need a hug. Verbal or physical. She's nurturing, loving, and understanding like no one else. We have been there for each other through thick and thin, and leaving her felt like leaving my security blanket. She's just always there. And while I can still call her. It's not the same. And I hate it.

Leaving parents is another story. You all have them, so you can all imagine. I'll just say it felt like being ripped from the arms of your parents. Because; it was. I still cry to think about it. Not just because I am close to them, but because my children are SO close to them. (the number one thing I hear, on an almost daily basis, is this, "I miss Grammy and Grandpa." Yes. It makes me cry. Because I miss them too, and because my babies are missing people that love them so much.

The last thing we did, just before leaving, is send the kids and Peter outside, while I was left with my mom and dad. And my dad gave me a blessing. And I sobbed. I cried and cried. I cried because I knew that this was the right thing to do, because I would miss my life there so much, because my kids would miss out on family and loved ones who love them SO much, because we wouldn't have the freedoms of America, because things were going to change. Because things had to change.

The words that made me brave enough to get me out the door and into the cars (took three to get us there), and take my family half way around the world, were these, "Teresa, the Lord will send His angels down to surround your family, to get them safely there, and to keep them safely there. They will surround and protect you."

And they have.