A few years ago I bought all new "shatterproof" Christmas tree ornaments. I thought this was a smart move. I even figured that the few 'family' ornaments I have that are glass, I could put up high - should I have a child needing to use one as a ball.
Oh - silly me.
On the first day of Christmas (the day after set up), Chuggy got a hold of Ruby's adorable glass snow globe. (given to her by my mom the year she was born) She carried it around the house, took it to bed, and watched TV with it as well. I had warned her that Chubs would think it a ball, if could get his hands on it, so put it back where it belongs (and Chugs can't get it) when you're done. I learned this clearly last summer with him and glass. The kids had been eating cherries in the back yard, out of my Pyrex bowl last summer, when upon their finishing, Chugs grabbed the bowl and threw it as hard as he could across the cement. Shattering into a million pieces, and him laughing the whole time. Apparently clear "balls" are really cool.
Guess what? Snow globes are clear balls as well - as everyone knows.
And as I heard, "BALL!" being yelled out of my nearly two year old's mouth, followed by the shattering of glass, and tears of a four year old - I realized that nothing is safe. No one is safe.
He got a hold of one more sad item, a hand made glass bulb of Simons and the scenario was the same. "Nooooo!" I heard from Si as the word "Ball!" echoed through the house again. This time into our rock fire place. And, yet again, the sounds of glass breaking. This time followed by, "NO! NO! MOM!!!! Chubs broke my ornament!"
Could someone PLEASE tell me why the ball machine, known as Chuggy, couldn't be bothered with the "shatterproof" ornaments? I mean really?! It's kind of like his Wii obsession. He carries a Wii remote control around the house day and night. And screams for it when he's without. I'm not exaggerating. Seriously. You can often find an extra remote in my purse or in his car seat. You see though, I once tried to give him a "pretend" remote. Free from a happy meal or something. And he said to me,
"Are you kidding!? No way lady!"
These were his exact words. I swear. Okay. If he could speak, they would be. Instead it was actually, "Scream! Yell! Wiiiiiiii!!!!" Followed by, you guessed it - throwing it across the room.
"Only the real thing for me. Why would I waste my time on ornaments that don't make cool crashing noises or on a Wii remote that costs less than a dollar?!"
And because of this - only the real thing will do, thing. Guess what he got for Christmas?
Two basketballs, two footballs and a soccer ball.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
boys
Since I'm too crazy right now to post, enjoy this from Peter's blog - all about boys.
http://petertennis.posterous.com/in-case-you-didnt-know-about-boys
http://petertennis.posterous.com/in-case-you-didnt-know-about-boys
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
One More Time
We're at it again.
AGAIN!!! I tell you.
Wasn't four enough? Holy cow, what are you people - crazy?!
Yep.
To be sure, the Tennis family is most certainly that.
Crazy.
Crazy to announce the coming of our fifth child and fourth (FOURTH!!!) boy.
Need me to draw you a picture? Yes? Okay.
Wait. Never mind - see for yourself.
(If you think you're looking at who-knows-what; you are. Just read the notation in the top left and follow the arrow)
AGAIN!!! I tell you.
Wasn't four enough? Holy cow, what are you people - crazy?!
Yep.
To be sure, the Tennis family is most certainly that.
Crazy.
Crazy to announce the coming of our fifth child and fourth (FOURTH!!!) boy.
Need me to draw you a picture? Yes? Okay.
Wait. Never mind - see for yourself.
(If you think you're looking at who-knows-what; you are. Just read the notation in the top left and follow the arrow)Or wait and meet him in person in April. We can't wait.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Misunderstandings
*Last week I saw my kids outside with the cat pinned to the ground and Samuel's GIANT nerf gun aimed at the cat. I was furious! Livid! Haven't I taught them better than this?! Just as I opened the window to scream at them about Heavenly Father's creatures, showing love for animals and all that jazz - Peter beat me to it. "What are you doing?" (Oh sure. Ask before you yell. Fine. Be nice.) "We're playing veterinarians and pretending to shoot the tiger with sleeping darts." Oh. Okay. Fine. And yes, I should have more faith in my kids, huh? It did make me laugh though.
*On Thanksgiving my mom left a voice mail for my brother about our plans for the day. It went like this: "We're having dinner at five at the Tennis'. Come over whenever you want though, we'll be playing games and having snacks." Now, my brothers phone has a voice interpreter that sends him a text with the words from the voice mail. Apparently it isn't that accurate; or maybe it is....the text read, "We're having dinner at five at the Tennis'. Come over whenever you want though, we'll be playing games and having sex." Little difference there. Snacks. Sex. Whatever. Either way it will be a good time.
*I recently discovered that my six year old has been signing his own daily planner with my initials. (WHAAAAT!!!!) Yep. I noticed he hadn't been asking me to sign his reading minutes for a while. I then checked his calendar to see my initials (looks like the Pi sign with a circle around it) in every single square. Yes. Busted. I ripped into him about this. Cheating. Forging. Lying. Eventually going to prison. (I truly am scaring my children - I know)
He then says, "But I read every night. (and he does) And when you don't sign I don't get credit for it and then I don't get to go to the prize box on Fridays"
True.
"Why don't you have me sign it right after school, like I do Samuel's?"
"Because I haven't read by then. And in the morning, I always forget."
"Just let me sign it before you go to bed."
"But then it would be lying because I haven't read yet."
True.
He's got a point. Lie by signing first. ( I have since convinced him this is okay because I sign in "good faith" knowing that he ALWAYS reads before he goes to sleep. Plus, it's way easier for me to remember during homework time.) Or sign my moms name without asking her.
Hmmm. Predicaments.
And the list of misunderstandings goes on and on. I have so very many, it's not even funny. I've hurt more feelings and meant something other than was said too many times to count. But hopefully, you'll find these few funny - and not hurt your feelings. Do your best. Okay?
*On Thanksgiving my mom left a voice mail for my brother about our plans for the day. It went like this: "We're having dinner at five at the Tennis'. Come over whenever you want though, we'll be playing games and having snacks." Now, my brothers phone has a voice interpreter that sends him a text with the words from the voice mail. Apparently it isn't that accurate; or maybe it is....the text read, "We're having dinner at five at the Tennis'. Come over whenever you want though, we'll be playing games and having sex." Little difference there. Snacks. Sex. Whatever. Either way it will be a good time.
*I recently discovered that my six year old has been signing his own daily planner with my initials. (WHAAAAT!!!!) Yep. I noticed he hadn't been asking me to sign his reading minutes for a while. I then checked his calendar to see my initials (looks like the Pi sign with a circle around it) in every single square. Yes. Busted. I ripped into him about this. Cheating. Forging. Lying. Eventually going to prison. (I truly am scaring my children - I know)
He then says, "But I read every night. (and he does) And when you don't sign I don't get credit for it and then I don't get to go to the prize box on Fridays"
True.
"Why don't you have me sign it right after school, like I do Samuel's?"
"Because I haven't read by then. And in the morning, I always forget."
"Just let me sign it before you go to bed."
"But then it would be lying because I haven't read yet."
True.
He's got a point. Lie by signing first. ( I have since convinced him this is okay because I sign in "good faith" knowing that he ALWAYS reads before he goes to sleep. Plus, it's way easier for me to remember during homework time.) Or sign my moms name without asking her.
Hmmm. Predicaments.
And the list of misunderstandings goes on and on. I have so very many, it's not even funny. I've hurt more feelings and meant something other than was said too many times to count. But hopefully, you'll find these few funny - and not hurt your feelings. Do your best. Okay?
Friday, December 4, 2009
You've Got Mail
I have so very many good posts locked up in my head, unable to find the time to really share. I'm sure you all do to. But I saved this several weeks ago to blog about, and now have 2.2 seconds to write a little diddy.
Many years ago Simon was in a shopping cart accident. Sounds exciting, huh? Like there were races through isles, screaching shopping cart wheels and the like. Nope. The cart fell over while parked, him inside, due to a missing wheel. The carts were brand new, with a solid surface covering the wheel area. (I tell you this so that you won't think my husband is a total idiot for putting two kids in a cart with only three wheels - and while most of us mothers would have gotten them in, rocked it a bit and realized "this will never do", he did not and headed for the slip and slide isle anyway.) At any rate, the cart tipped and fell into sharp metal shelving, Simons face being dragged along each one until they hit the ground. Traumatic. I know.
Long story short; lots of tears, Peter rushing around to find help, plenty of blood, and me coming home from girls camp to a ringing telephone telling me Si was being stitched up. Having that happen to your 18 mos. old was plenty traumatic for me. In the process of all of this, we went to a plastic surgeon. Someone that we knew from church. He was great and said to 'fix' the scars would be A LOT of trouble, so living with them is the best option. It's okay, they give his rubber little face even more character than he already had before.
Sooooo, on to the story. Simon got a piece of mail a while ago. Addressed to him. Inside was a card from Dr. Clayton, it says:
Because every six year old boy needs just this, new boobs and bigger lips. I laughed so hard I couldn't stand it.
There must be a way to filter out their mailing system. Don't you think?
"Hey Si. you got some mail"
"Mom. What's breast enhancment?"
Not really. I didn't give it to him. Becuase you know he would have read the whole thing and had to go to the medical book or something of the like. Yeah. Let's not encourage that quite yet.
Many years ago Simon was in a shopping cart accident. Sounds exciting, huh? Like there were races through isles, screaching shopping cart wheels and the like. Nope. The cart fell over while parked, him inside, due to a missing wheel. The carts were brand new, with a solid surface covering the wheel area. (I tell you this so that you won't think my husband is a total idiot for putting two kids in a cart with only three wheels - and while most of us mothers would have gotten them in, rocked it a bit and realized "this will never do", he did not and headed for the slip and slide isle anyway.) At any rate, the cart tipped and fell into sharp metal shelving, Simons face being dragged along each one until they hit the ground. Traumatic. I know.
Long story short; lots of tears, Peter rushing around to find help, plenty of blood, and me coming home from girls camp to a ringing telephone telling me Si was being stitched up. Having that happen to your 18 mos. old was plenty traumatic for me. In the process of all of this, we went to a plastic surgeon. Someone that we knew from church. He was great and said to 'fix' the scars would be A LOT of trouble, so living with them is the best option. It's okay, they give his rubber little face even more character than he already had before.
Sooooo, on to the story. Simon got a piece of mail a while ago. Addressed to him. Inside was a card from Dr. Clayton, it says:
"Dr. James Clayton requests the pleasure of your company at our open house
"FALL INTO BEAUTY"
Learn about breast enhancement, body contouring, facial rejuvination,
botox and dermal fillers."
Because every six year old boy needs just this, new boobs and bigger lips. I laughed so hard I couldn't stand it.
There must be a way to filter out their mailing system. Don't you think?
"Hey Si. you got some mail"
"Mom. What's breast enhancment?"
Not really. I didn't give it to him. Becuase you know he would have read the whole thing and had to go to the medical book or something of the like. Yeah. Let's not encourage that quite yet.
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