Sad. But true. And funny, too

This post may come off as a little sad - for me. But really, it's meant to be funny.

I REG.U.LARLY! get asked if I go to the gym? (work out, Zumba, swim, etc.) I am totally not kidding. It's ALWAYS, ALWAYS by a middle easterner, okay, once it was a Philippino - but anyway. The comment ALWAYS, ALWAYS continues with, "It could really help you lose weight." (I am laughing as I write this. Have you ever met such forward people? I mean I KNOW I am a hefer. Okay? But really...)

I'll tell you a few...

The lifeguards at the pool: Swimming laps is really good for you. And it helps your body look better. Thanks guys!

Lifeguard at the beach: You ever go to the pool? Swimming is really good for you, and you lose weight. All said is very broken English.

Guard at the Rec Center: You go to the gym? Why you not go to the gym? You will look better if you go to the gym. Um, aren't you supposed to not talk to women?

Algerian Friend: You go Zumba? NO?! You go! Very good for you. You sweat. You get skinnier. Did I ever mention to you that I wanted to lose weight?

Colombian Friend: You ever try Zumba? Mmmmm. Is good! And (slaps her own thighs), you lose weight! Make you smaller. Alright-ie!

I will tell you that NOT ONE of these comments was solicited. I DO have friends here that I whine to about my size. Of course I do, it's my number one favorite complaint of the day. Every day. But, you see, I don't really KNOW these other people, now do I? Each one of them has said these things totally out of context of the conversation we're having.

I was having not-coffee at someone's house recently and I said no thank you to the coffee and tea, that I didn't drink these things, as it is against my religion. (laughing out loud while writing this - it was SO funny) She then brings out some yummy treats and says, "You will eat these though. You are overweight. So eat!" (she's local, BTW, and I've already been down that road about their view of matter of factness. It is what it is...)

For someone who already has size issues, this place is doin' nothing for the self esteem. If you know what I mean.

On an even funnier note, I went to the gym tonight. That wasn't so funny. I mean, Woah Mama! But, what was funny was the local women at the gym. Let me try to paint a good picture for you. These women have never just put on a pair of sneakers and gone for a walk. I mean a brisk, get your heart pumpin' walk. It's just not conducive to what they have to wear. So, if they do anything, it's in the privacy of their homes, or at a women's only gym. (as they are ALL in the country, separated, that is)

So these ladies haven't ever moved much. They don't wear supportive bra's, if they are wearing any at all. And not matter their size, big or small, they are just outright doughy - or at least the one's I've seen. They come totally covered, head to toe, in their abaya's. But they are wearing some type of sweat suit underneath. To get into the gym you have to go through two sets of doors with warnings ALL over the place. "No Men Allowed!" "Female Attendant on Duty", etc. When these women are in the gym, the go so far as to tape paper towels over the inside door window, JUST IN CASE as man might get past the first doors, and peek through the small window in the second. (no window in the first) It's a little too paranoid for me. But, what ev'. To each their own. If they can live like that, paranoia around each and every corner - more power to 'em.

But the really funny part is that they get on the machines, watch really trampy Egyptian soap opera's, and walk as slow as they can. Just meander. It cracks me up. It would annoy me, but really - I think they may just be glad to be out of the house. But tonight I got a real doosy next to me. She was, and I am NOT kidding, eating potato chips while ON. THE. TREADMILL. (still laughing about it) I was dying.

And I mean, really. Doesn't she know not to eat potato chips in front of me while I'm on the treadmill too?! They are a huge love of mine. Maybe if she had held one out in front of me, like a carrot or something - but to just eat them by herself next to me, and not even offer me one. Well. That's just rude.

See ya on the flip side! (whatever that means...)