Dear Tooth Fairy

Dear Tooth Fairy,

Is this really fair? Really? I just want to eat my pizza. Is that to much to ask?

It's bad enough to have the Grand Canyon in my mouth. I just want to eat my dinner...like a normal person. My "bites" look like an alien bit them. This really, truly, is a pizza silhouette of my teeth. Or shall I say, lack of teeth.

And while you're at it, could you get me some clean-eating lessons? My mom thinks I'm a pig. What does she know?

Well, thanks anyway. You're doing a great job. You're really pretty, super nice, and I really like you. You make the greatest food, keep a fantastic house, and are the kindest person I know.

Keep up the good work.

Love,

Simon