A few years ago I bought all new "shatterproof" Christmas tree ornaments. I thought this was a smart move. I even figured that the few 'family' ornaments I have that are glass, I could put up high - should I have a child needing to use one as a ball.
Oh - silly me.
On the first day of Christmas (the day after set up), Chuggy got a hold of Ruby's adorable glass snow globe. (given to her by my mom the year she was born) She carried it around the house, took it to bed, and watched TV with it as well. I had warned her that Chubs would think it a ball, if could get his hands on it, so put it back where it belongs (and Chugs can't get it) when you're done. I learned this clearly last summer with him and glass. The kids had been eating cherries in the back yard, out of my Pyrex bowl last summer, when upon their finishing, Chugs grabbed the bowl and threw it as hard as he could across the cement. Shattering into a million pieces, and him laughing the whole time. Apparently clear "balls" are really cool.
Guess what? Snow globes are clear balls as well - as everyone knows.
And as I heard, "BALL!" being yelled out of my nearly two year old's mouth, followed by the shattering of glass, and tears of a four year old - I realized that nothing is safe. No one is safe.
He got a hold of one more sad item, a hand made glass bulb of Simons and the scenario was the same. "Nooooo!" I heard from Si as the word "Ball!" echoed through the house again. This time into our rock fire place. And, yet again, the sounds of glass breaking. This time followed by, "NO! NO! MOM!!!! Chubs broke my ornament!"
Could someone PLEASE tell me why the ball machine, known as Chuggy, couldn't be bothered with the "shatterproof" ornaments? I mean really?! It's kind of like his Wii obsession. He carries a Wii remote control around the house day and night. And screams for it when he's without. I'm not exaggerating. Seriously. You can often find an extra remote in my purse or in his car seat. You see though, I once tried to give him a "pretend" remote. Free from a happy meal or something. And he said to me,
"Are you kidding!? No way lady!"
These were his exact words. I swear. Okay. If he could speak, they would be. Instead it was actually, "Scream! Yell! Wiiiiiiii!!!!" Followed by, you guessed it - throwing it across the room.
"Only the real thing for me. Why would I waste my time on ornaments that don't make cool crashing noises or on a Wii remote that costs less than a dollar?!"
And because of this - only the real thing will do, thing. Guess what he got for Christmas?
Two basketballs, two footballs and a soccer ball.
3 comments:
Aw, boys, gotta love 'em! Lucy went through a remote phase as well, and we tried giving her fake ones, or broken ones, or toy ones that were colorful and made noise, but she somehow knew. I love your stories!
That's hilarious! Things could be worse. Andrew (Bam Bam) would simply stand by the Christmas tree with his plastic baseball bat and whack everthing within his reach. It didn't even help to put the ornaments up high. One time Zach tried to save the tree from him and they managed to pull whole thing over, pinnning Zach underneath.
That's a crack up. Something I will never experience. But Meg couldn't put one ornament that was round on her tree due to the same issue, everything is a "ball" at her house. Good luck!
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