*Last week I saw my kids outside with the cat pinned to the ground and Samuel's GIANT nerf gun aimed at the cat. I was furious! Livid! Haven't I taught them better than this?! Just as I opened the window to scream at them about Heavenly Father's creatures, showing love for animals and all that jazz - Peter beat me to it. "What are you doing?" (Oh sure. Ask before you yell. Fine. Be nice.) "We're playing veterinarians and pretending to shoot the tiger with sleeping darts." Oh. Okay. Fine. And yes, I should have more faith in my kids, huh? It did make me laugh though.
*On Thanksgiving my mom left a voice mail for my brother about our plans for the day. It went like this: "We're having dinner at five at the Tennis'. Come over whenever you want though, we'll be playing games and having snacks." Now, my brothers phone has a voice interpreter that sends him a text with the words from the voice mail. Apparently it isn't that accurate; or maybe it is....the text read, "We're having dinner at five at the Tennis'. Come over whenever you want though, we'll be playing games and having sex." Little difference there. Snacks. Sex. Whatever. Either way it will be a good time.
*I recently discovered that my six year old has been signing his own daily planner with my initials. (WHAAAAT!!!!) Yep. I noticed he hadn't been asking me to sign his reading minutes for a while. I then checked his calendar to see my initials (looks like the Pi sign with a circle around it) in every single square. Yes. Busted. I ripped into him about this. Cheating. Forging. Lying. Eventually going to prison. (I truly am scaring my children - I know)
He then says, "But I read every night. (and he does) And when you don't sign I don't get credit for it and then I don't get to go to the prize box on Fridays"
True.
"Why don't you have me sign it right after school, like I do Samuel's?"
"Because I haven't read by then. And in the morning, I always forget."
"Just let me sign it before you go to bed."
"But then it would be lying because I haven't read yet."
True.
He's got a point. Lie by signing first. ( I have since convinced him this is okay because I sign in "good faith" knowing that he ALWAYS reads before he goes to sleep. Plus, it's way easier for me to remember during homework time.) Or sign my moms name without asking her.
Hmmm. Predicaments.
And the list of misunderstandings goes on and on. I have so very many, it's not even funny. I've hurt more feelings and meant something other than was said too many times to count. But hopefully, you'll find these few funny - and not hurt your feelings. Do your best. Okay?
2 comments:
Maile and I are sitting here laughing and laughing about Thanksgiving at the Tennis house. Sounds too good to miss. I knew your mom was a sassy lady.
Oh, and my word verification is nesthag. Now that I take offense at. :)
I'm with you, sister. I do this ALL THE TIME. You're "snacks" one made me laugh because I did that one once too. I told my rooomate I was excited to go on a double date with her brother and his wife. When she asked what we were doing I said, "watching a movie and having snacks". She scowled at me and said, "Excuse me? You're doing WHAT?!?" Yeah, pronunciation is very important.
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