Wedding Tip: Bridesmaid

Let me remind you that my “wedding tips” are, in fact, my wedding tips. There are countless books available about wedding planning and etiquette. After being involved in a LOT of weddings, I have, of course, made my own opinions. (who me?! Shocker.) I also deal in a majority of Mormon weddings, which are quite unique in and of themselves. Since the ceremony takes place inside our temples, and is very simple and sacred, planning a “Mormon wedding” is very different than other weddings. But we do find ourselves wanting to catch the “traditional” wedding wave. We want bridesmaids, groomsmen, ring bearers, big parties and what not. So, we improvise at our receptions. Remember, we Mormons are very ingenious. (LOL)



Bridesmaids have played a role in weddings for a long time now. They assist the bride, and are escorted down the isle with the groomsmen. It seems, almost a competition, who can have the most of each. The dresses are lavish and expensive and little girls dream of the day they get to be one. I, myself, have been one nine times. And this is why today, I write about, The Bridesmaid.



I was first a bridesmaid at my oldest sisters wedding. I was 11 years old, and fuming with puberty. My bad attitude and hormonal “hurumphs” were exuding from every pore. I was awful! (not bragging here, just trying to make a point) I wouldn’t smile in the photos, I was snotty to everyone - sheer brat! I have often asked myself why my parents didn’t just make me leave. “Get it together or get out!” Point here: Way too young! My sister had three younger sisters, the oldest, barely 16. She, herself, was only 18. While I think the family thought it would be nice to have her sisters as bridesmaids, we were all too young. My view is that no one under 16, at the very least, should be a bridesmaid. I would suggest that if you do have younger people you want to include, have them buy an outfit that goes with the theme of the wedding, give them flowers in their hair or a wrist corsage, (letting people know they are, in fact, part of the wedding party) and ask them to man the gift table, food table, or specifically mingle with guests.



My next two weddings were within six months of each other, at 15 and 16. Again, in my opinion, too young. I think there is an obligation to have sisters or sisters in law be the bridesmaids. Why? They know you love them. Choose your close friends. And if you don’t have someone that you feel that close to, then don’t have any. I’ll admit that in a conventional wedding, not having any might seem different, but not horrible. But since we, as Mormons, don’t walk down the isle. Who cares? NO ONE wants to walk through a recieving line shaking hands with people they don’t know, especially someone’s little sister. Please take note of this horrifying photo I’ve provided.

Notes on the Photo:

Kill me now! Take a gander at my face. "Hellooo, there. I am the Queen of Sheba. I'm modest, unlike my hussy sister next to me. Who dares to show her shoulders! (Of course, not really a hussy! Just being funny with the comentary!) Who cares if the dress was made for this. I am a prrrude! Not to mention, my mother would kill me." And can you get over my hand gesture. Puh-lese! The mouth, the eyes, and the tilt of the head. Who am I!? The pearls are WAY too much, and the flowers in the hair; overboard! Check out the brides face. This is her 100% plastered fake smile. What she's really thinking is, "Help Me! I hate this whole thing! Too bad I love the groom, (I think!) other than that - get me outta' here!"

My sister Krista wanted to have red plaid and black as her colors. My mother would not hear of it. She wanted her two best friends to be her bridesmaids; Again, no way. She doesn’t now, and didn’t then, like mauve. And hated white lattice. And in fact, is the last person to be caught dead condoning 15 year olds (or anyone) wearing hideous lace gloves, of all things! And what kind of flowers am I holding?! I think they are all greens and like, one carnation! Eeek! But, someone else took over the wedding, and this is what she had. As I have mentioned before, here, let the bride get what she wants. Please.



Side note: She also wanted to marry a doctor, and didn’t. (although we all LOVE Jeff) But that is something she is taking into her own hands, 17 years later, and getting ready to start med school next fall and 39 years old. That’s right folks. You can have your cake and eat it too, it just might not be the same cake it was 20 years earlier. But it’s still cake!



My poor sister-in-law had to have me as one, as well. Sorry. I’m not sure why. It may have been the kindness of her heart, or trying to match the number of groomsmen. But in any case, I was still way too young. See here, for the photo. (She did get the black. And, yes, Krista is still mad.) The weddings that followed, I was older, and they were my very good friends or relatives. I, of course, loved being in all of the weddings. Don’t get me wrong about my younger years. I loved it. It gave be bragging rights. “Sorry, I can’t go to your party Saturday. I have to be a bridesmaid that night.” Believe me, at 11, that sounds pret-ty cool. (Okay, so like I was even invited to parties then. But if I had been, it would have been awesome to say that! Especially when 16 Candles what the hit of the year, and you – yes, you – got to be your big sisters bridesmaid. Just like in the movie!)

*Please accept full apologies, again, of all rottenness in my adolescence. I was horrible, and snotty. Please take note and forgive.

Thank you. The Management

A side note on dresses. Don’t even pretend to tell yourselves that “they’ll be able to wear them again.” And please! Just because they are “your style” and look good on you, does not mean they will on other girls. Pick your colors, choose a variety that look great together. Have the girls find something that looks good on them, they are comfortable in, and matches the feel of your wedding. Then maybe, just maybe, they might wear it again. And for heavens sake! Do not make them stand in the receiving line! Good gracious, spare everyone the grief. Have them mingle, visit and help keep the mood of the reception. You don’t have to have the same number of groomsmen, either. It won’t be “off balance” in your photos. Things have changed a lot in the last few years. (Like, who stands in lines for their wedding photos anymore?!)

Bottom Line: Choose people you love and think appropriate for this part of your special day. You don’t have to have any bridesmaids, if you don’t want. Your numbers don’t have to match. And your dresses don’t have to be puffy, ugly, expensive, or even match. Whew! I guess I could have told you all of this in the one paragraph above. But then you would have missed out on all my jibbering. And who would want that?

The following are some of the photos I mentioned from a couple of weeks ago. Found my camera, hooray!

Wedding Tip

Have fun! This goes along with the “it’s your wedding” theme. Let your personality shine. More and more often I am seeing the bride and groom really show at weddings. No longer do you have to have a “stuffy” wedding or reception. Some fun things I have seen (or heard of) lately are as follows. PLEASE add to these, I only mention a few, but I know you all have lots of great ideas! ( Post them in the comment section)

Pink and brown wedding: Strawberry and Chocolate whoppers in bowls all over the place.

I did a cup cake cake for a girl last year. Then they served lots of different flavors of cup cakes as their main dessert. She and the groom LOVE Taco Bell, so they had a Taco Bell Bar. They bought all the stuff, in bulk, from the restaurant and set up a really cute food bar. Ask around, I bet other places would be willing to do this too.


Photo booths are popular these days. Your guests get photos to take home, and you get a CD with their photos for your memories.

Leave with a bang. I’ve seen sparklers, bubbles, flower petals and even live butterflies you can buy online. I am sure there a ton more you can think of.

I’ve heard of everything PINK. Any kind of candy and even a cotton candy machine.

Party favors can really say a lot. Spend some time and think about what says “you.” You can order m and m’s with your names on them. Even a handful of wildflower seeds to be planted in the spring. Remember though, packaging makes the gift. So think about that when you are planning.

The first dance doesn’t have to be a snoozer. I found this awesome clip online. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QujA8YYgTWU&feature=related Let it load before you watch it, because it is a snoozer for a couple of minutes. But then it is to die for! I laughed so hard and thought, “I would LOVE to know these people.” They are totally funny! Do what makes you, you. (I loved watching her big puffy dress)

But having a fun(ny) time might not be your thing. Whatever is “your thing,” do it 100%. If you are all about class and simplicity, then by all means; go that route. If you are a total goof ball who really likes to do things up; have at it. All of this doesn’t have to be expensive, either. Set your priorities, getting the most out of your money; where it matters most to you. You could have a bare minimum reception and really fun food. Or no food, but great favors. The internet is FULL of great ideas. But remember, over all, have fun and let both of YOUR personalities be reflected in this wonderful day.

Wedding Tip of the Week

A few weeks ago I did a wedding for an adorable bride and groom. As I frequently encounter, there were family members who felt it their job to “take over” the wedding. From what the colors should be, to the types of flowers, and even the cake. The poor, sweet bride gave in to almost all of these because she just didn’t want the fight. I felt sad for her. It’s her day, her wedding day. This should be the most perfect day of her life. Fortunately, in the end, I think it was. She was easy going and really didn’t mind letting things go. But from one who is around weddings a lot, let me remind you, “This is not your day, it's hers.”

This is a once in a life time event. Let the bride have her day. Rejoice in her decisions, be there when she needs advice and a shoulder to cry on. Lift her up and encourage her when she is “done” with the whole thing. Each bride reaches the point of “I really don’t care!! Just do what YOU want.” Help her focus and see what SHE wants. Try to help her work through this. Be patient, loving and understanding.


More often than not, mothers are the biggest problem for the bride. They feel like their own opinion is most important. Again, the BRIDES opinion is most important. Many of these mothers would never even think of themselves as doing this. So be aware of your comments and opinions. Brides look to their mothers for support, don’t abuse this by pushing your agenda on them. This is her day, not yours. Even if you are footing the bill, she’s better off paying for it herself than having to “pay” for it every step of the way. Set a budget, that the bride is aware of, and let her spend it the way she wishes. Both the mother and the bride will be much happier in the end.



On a happier note, I went to the floral wholesaler today. I LOVE going there. I love the smell, everything there is to look at, and most of all – the flowers. I took a couple of quick pictures so you could see “behind the scenes.” In most wholesale instances, flowers are flown in fresh, almost everyday, from all over the world. Last month I did a bridal bouquet of just Calla Lillie’s, flown in from Argentina. (see above photo) Wax flower is mainly grown in Australia. This summer, their winter, they had some severe cold spells. This made one of the most common flowers around, nearly impossible to get for a couple of weeks. I enjoy knowing a little bit about where the flowers are coming from and what is “in season.” If you live in an area that grows a lot of fresh flowers locally, buy in season! This is fun and adds a personal touch to any wedding.



Oh, I wish these were scratch and sniff!

Flower Fun

Here are some recent photos of some weddings I've done. LOVE the hydrenga's, don't you? Enjoy!

Wednesday Wedding Day: Here comes the bride...

Here comes the bride. Lately, I find myself feeling so sad when I “do” weddings. ( I have a little “business” doing cakes and flowers for weddings.) I LOVE it. It really is one of the greatest times in a persons life to be involved in. So why are you sad silly? (More on why I love it, later.) I feel sad because I am seeing this very intimate scenario up close and personal. I hear the moms reminisce of their own weddings, and talk of what their daughter has always wanted. I hear the girls oogle over their grooms and talk about how cute they’ll look in their tuxes. I see moms pinning up their daughters hair, and sisters holding elaborate wedding dress trains. I hear the excitement in the voice of the bride, and the sorrow in the mothers.
At a recent reception I asked the dad, “are you ready?” He said “We woke up early this morning and went for a walk, just Em and I. After returning home, I gave her a father’s blessing. And I just lost it, I cried like a baby.” To think of that last time with your daughter, as yours. The excitement that surrounds weddings is contagious, but I keep seeing the other side. I quit going to wedding receptions a while ago. I don’t like seeing the plastered smiles and their bridal party pooped. I like seeing the beauty and joy that culminates as the day approaches. I like seeing these sweet moments shared with their loved ones. I love to see sisters snuggling and picking out clothes, and grandmas and aunts hovering around the food table, making it “just right.” I love to see the groom with his glazed over eyes, not knowing what to do next. (just smile and nod, honey) And the dads slapping other men on the back as final touches are made in the reception hall.

I feel sad because I see my one sweet daughter in each of these events. I see her milky white skin, soft rosy cheeks, bright blue eyes and her strawberry red hair – all grown up. I love being married and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But I only have one bride of my own, and I will be forever sad to see her grow up and get married. I know that this must be, and I know in my heart it is best. But for now, I think of her crazy hair, pink pajamas, stinky pink blanket named “bewbow” and her saying, “Mom, can you skuggle with me?” Of course I can skuggle, Roo. I always will.