Me and My Lorna Doones

I'm chubby, you know. No really. It's not just "big bones" (really BIG bones), or "you're just pregnant." I'm a full fledged biggie at this point. So why, I ask you, must they put me in the room directly across from the room labeled "Nutrition Room." Because if you don't know, in the Labor and Delivery section of the hospital, this is code for OPEN SNACK BAR, 24/7!

Hence, the Lorna Doone trouble. Every time the nurse would ask if she could get me anything, I'd politely say "no thank you" - then when she'd leave I'd head across the hall for my dear Lorna, sweet little thing that she is. I seriously can't count how many little packs I ate. We'll just leave it at A LOT. I may have snuck a few in my bag coming home as well. Ooops.

Really though, you should have seen what they had stocked in there. Every cookie you could want, juice by the gallons, more diet coke than one could drink in a life time (okay, in Utah - it could be done. "Breastfeed your baby honey, and have another diet coke dear.") Frozen pizzas, burritos, popsicles, pudding, jello, rice pudding (yum), popcorn, crackers, etc. Let me just say, I was impressed by the stash. This may be why I came home from the hospital a whopping F-O-U-R pounds less than when I went. Uh, hello? What happened to the 8 pound 10 ounce baby weight - FOR STARTERS!!!! (I may be near tears as we speak...)

Anywho. Moving on.

It's been almost six weeks, so I won't put you to sleep with my birthing story. Let's just cut to the chase. I had planned on a nice peaceful morning with Peter, my ipod and a good game of solitaire. What I got was a WHOLE lot of crying, screaming, heavy breathing, me yelling "I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN" and TWO epidurals. (Three if you count him having to start totally over during round one...did I mention I HATE getting epidurals? They scare me to DEATH!) Yep. One that didn't work at all, and one that kicked in seconds before the baby (for real) and left me numb for four hours and fifteen minutes; AFTER the birth. Seriously. Not even kidding.

You try being on pitosin, a giant catheter inserted, your doctor being up to his elbows, making it all the way to a ten and ready to push - with no pain killers. Believe me, it was the pits. (which I have since decided is why they call pitosin, PIT) Oh sure, if I had even thought for a minute I was going to go natural, I might have done some planning. You know, like practicing some kind of breathing. Talked things over with Peter. (do's and don'ts in labor - I did have to ask him nicely to put some gum in. Hey, I thought the fact that I was nice about it was pretty good...considering the circumstances.) At least my half a push was pain free. That was nice.

But of course, the gift at the end is always worth it. I just love my little newborns. They're so beautiful. The gift of life is so miraculous. Each time, I can't believe how blessed I am. How so many things can go wrong bringing a life to earth, and how perfect these spirits are upon arrival.

So in the end, Lorna and I were quite pleased with the whole thing.

And how are things now, you ask? Wonderful. (minus the missing father again, but we only have six weeks left - hooray!!) The baby is a dream. He sleeps great and is a very sweet baby. I truly am blessed.