Sisters

When I first started my blog, I told you briefly about Stephanie and Christian Neilson. Nearly two months later, my friends and family have more information and memories about myself and our life than I have ever recorded. Thank you for reading and your compliments; It helps me keep it up. I really want to remember this time in my life. Each day goes so fast, and I can hardly remember what day of the week it is. These times are precious, they are fleeting, and they are priceless.

Click here. This is a beautiful article about their story. Peter finds me crying about this, and doesn't seem to understand. I can't explain, maybe he will read this and start. I have been thinking so much about my own sisters. Would they say sweet things about me? Or, I about them? Would we run to each others rescue?

Of course we would!! We have before, and we will again.

I cannot imagine my life without my sisters. I have held their hands (except Krista, who doesn't like that kind of thing (haha)), cried with them, held their babies, stroked their heads, and loved them. And they have each done this for me countless times.

I'll never forget Krista, crying her heart out for our (very righteously) unavailable mother after the birth of her third child. She just wanted her mom. So I moved in for a week. I had no children of my own yet and I could be there. I saw her beautiful baby girl come into this world, and my dear sister was in need. In need of what, I could not say, but she needed me. She needed her dishes done, beds made, laundry done and her other kids taken care of. She needed someone to take her to the doctor, to rock her baby and someone to just be there. The baby slept in the room with me, and I would take her to Krista to nurse. This was a privilege that not many without children of their own have. To spend this precious time with one so fresh from heaven is miraculous. Through the days, I sat with Krista and loved her the best my not-yet-a-mother self could.

And this made our bond even closer.

Or when Mindy called me, desperate in need of help with a marital problem. I jumped in the car, handed off my little ones and did what I was told. My heart raced as I acted on my call to action. I prayed and prayed and prayed. “Please let me help my wonderful sister. She deserves all the blessings of the world. Please help her little family, and please help me to help her.” In the days to come, (again: parents unavailable) I would welcome her little family into the house in the wee hours of the night for peace and protection. I would listen to her cry, “Why me? I only ever loved him. I loved him so much.” I can see her sweet babies lying in my parents’ bed, and her being so brave (I can’t imagine how brave you really were). I was at her house as often as I could. I did laundry, made dinner, cleaned the house, answered the phone and snuggled her kids. I never, ever want to hear another seven year old say, sobbing through his tears, in response to “Daddy won’t be living with us anymore”: “I’m too young to not have a dad.”

And this made our bond even closer.

When I heard that my oldest, and in my childhood – most worshiped sister, was on the plane to Utah, to be admitted to a de-tox program here, my heart sank and was elated and relieved at the same time. Her addictions were ruining her, killing her. But the fact that the beginning of the end could be soon, I was so very happy. My baby girl was four months old. I had to be brave. I had to visit my sister. My sister who made me an aunt at 13, who taught me how to be a mom, and who, in fact, was practically a mother to me. So, with strength in numbers, Mindy and I went to UNI. And I saw what remained of my beautiful, strong, lovely sister. Her skin was yellow and she couldn’t stop shaking. But she was happy to see me, and I her. She wanted to hold my Ruby. I have to admit, I was a little worried. But I know that the love of a child can heal, and their comfort is not to be found anywhere else. And that is just what happened. She held her, and began to heal. Not right that second, and not just because of a baby, but because she wanted to, because she had her own babies, and because the Lord needed her to get better.

And this made our bond even closer.

I tell you these things not to tell what I have done for them, but to tell you that by them allowing me to serve them – I am a better person. I have learned lessons from them that cannot be taught in schools. I am a better mom, friend, daughter, aunt and sister; because of them.

Being the youngest, the lessons which they taught me are more than I can even begin to tell you. I am who I am today, because I was raised by three older sisters. They taught me to read; they taught me to roller skate (and break my arm). They taught me to write, to sing, to dance, how to do my hair, what clothes to wear, and how to shave my legs.

Mindy bought me my first bra and taught me how to use feminine unmentionables. She taught me how to be soft, how to really show affection to my children. She taught me that it’s okay to cry. She is who I climbed into bed with when I was afraid, or lonely or sad. She is who has wiped so very many of my tears.

Krista taught me how to love after giant fights; and how to forgive. She taught me about nursing babies, and always knows the answers to any medical problem I have. She taught me to serve and to be happy no matter what life throws at you. She taught me that I can mother my kids better than anyone else can; that I can do anything for them, no matter how hard it may seem.

Elise taught me to work hard for my family. She was always working. She cooked and cleaned and loved, non-stop. Her kids are older now, but she still does it all. She put her family first. She was a very young bride and mother, and it hasn’t always been easy, but she made this choice and has battled her way through it. She fights daily for her children and her life. She is strong.

I have been blessed with sisters.

Oh, yes, some days I might choose another word other than blessed, but I truly am that. We have times of great closeness, and some that aren’t. But in the end we are here for each other. They make me meals when my babies are born, they watch my kids so I can go on a date, and do my dishes when I can’t get out of bed. I guess another thing I better add to my “reasons I like Utah list” is, that two of my three sister are here. I hope someday we can all live close enough to love (and yet far enough away to still love). We are not ideal and we are not perfect.

We are sisters. We talk WAY to loud, and laugh a lot. We are jealous and petty. We fight and nit-pick. We argue and hold grudges. We are sisters. We love and we cry. We are there for each other. We do the best we know how. We are sisters.

Tomorrow my sweet Ruby will turn three. The day I found out she was a girl, I cried and cried. There were many reasons. Some of which I have mentioned in this blog… Girls. But my biggest reason was about sisters. You see, Ruby was the first girl that a male in my husband’s family had in 42 years. They don’t make girls. And while everyone told me how lucky I was, all I could think was, “Yes, but the chances of anther girl are almost none.”

And, what would she do in this world, without a sister?