While You Were Sleeping

Okay.

This post is a little embarrassing. Just remember that I am a single mom of five. (for the time being, anyway) With a newborn on my hands, as well. I don't get to hand off any of the kids when my husband walks through the door, because he doesn't walk through the door these days.

That said, during the day, I try to get a little nap in. Samuel is put in charge and I remind the kids of this: "Please don't come and get me unless there is an emergency. An Emergency may be one of these: you are on fire, bleeding, have a broken limb, the house is on fire, there's a stranger at the door, or someone is pinned under a heavy object."

And even then, it better be good.

I have been known to go through the list when my door cracks open, I see a small child's eyeball and hear, "Mom, are you awake?" I say, "Are you ...(one of the above listed items...) ?" "No", they say. "Then what is the emergency?" I ask. (not very friendly, I might add) "It's not an emergency, I was just wondering if I can have some gum." OR some other minor issue. I respond with something like, "You did not just ask me for gum, did you?" And they slink away. I know, it's not very nice. But really, I am just trying to get a cumulative amount of sleep - 8 hours broken up in at least three pieces isn't too much to ask. Is it? If I don't get this, by 5 pm, I am not a force to be reckoned with. Believe me.

I don't really care what they do during this time. They can have snacks, watch TV, go into the back yard. All I ask is that they're safe and remotely enjoying themselves. I understand that I can't ask for more than this.

So I thought I'd share with you what I typically find:



Yep. That's full on sharpie.

Yes, his older brother, the "creative" one - Simon, left it on the counter after one of his many projects.

Yes. That is a pink doll stroller in my kitchen drawer.

Yep. The entire bag of Cheetos's gone. I think it may have been licked clean. Yep. Orange EVERYWHERE. (What was I thinking buying them anyway. I HATE their orange mess!)

And yes, every shoe thrown from the shoe basket. Thanks Chach!

This doesn't even show the TV room. Which usually has every pillow and couch cushion strewn across the room. Fruit snack wrappers all over the place. The back yard covered in otter pop wrappers. Yeah. It's nice. They do have to help pick up, but I do the majority of it.

I realize that I can't expect them to be angels while I am sleeping. I am just hoping for all them to be alive. So far. So good.