Freedom comes in many ways. Freedom from the eyes of an innocent toddler as he takes his first steps. Entering those doors of Kindergarten. Getting your drivers license. Moving out of the house to go to college. Getting your first real job. (although this brings freedoms, it also binds you, I guess) Anyway. We come to earth to learn and grow, many steps along the way are gaining our independence - or freedom.
Two years ago next month I moved to the Middle East and found out even more about freedom. Like what it's like to not have freedoms. Freedoms to drive, wear what I want, have political opinions and voice them, and freedom of religion.
Last month on the fourth of July, I had another little taste of freedom. I ran in the Freedom Festival's Freedom Run. It was just a little 5K run. Nice and easy, with 3000 other people. Six and a half years ago, when I delivered my third child, my midwife asked me to set a weight goal - associated with being fit. I told her I wanted to run in the Freedom Run. Yep. Six years later, I did it.
As I put my ipod on, (I'm not a true runner, you see - true runners listen to sound of their feet and hear their heart beat. Not me.) I started on the route next to a good friend of mine. We have both struggled with our weight, and being here together felt powerful. I rounded the corner onto Center street, and I couldn't keep the tears of coming. Every time I tried to fight them back, they just kept creeping out again.
I had so many emotions overflowing as I was running through the streets of the United States with thousands of other people. Freedom! I kept thinking, over and over. THIS is freedom. I am wearing what I want, out in public. Celebrating MY freedoms. My country and all that is was founded on. And I felt GREAT. My feet were carrying me. It wasn't hard or difficult - it just felt free.
Last year, in April, I weaned my fifth and last baby. I weighed my all time high. (number I won't horrify you with) I decided then that it was time to lose this weight once and for all. It was been a long hard row, I still have 32 pounds to go, and every day fear putting it back on. I have done everything thing you can think of. I started with walking, ate vegetarian for six months. Then moved on to heavy work outs and lots of lean protein. Three hours a day of working out and committing myself to the best of my ability.
This past week I hit my mark of a seventy pound weight loss. As I was running that day, this was another huge freedom I felt. Freedom from self. Freedom from nearly 70 pounds that were weighing me down, both physically and emotionally. This was a prison I have inflicted on myself over the majority of my life. Every emotion I feel, I fill it with food. I have worked hard this year to try to feel all the aspects of life as JUST feelings. Not with the attachment of eating. I have tried to train my body to work harder and grow all the muscles is has to offer. It hasn't been easy but the pay off has been great;
in fact it has been freeing.
Two years ago next month I moved to the Middle East and found out even more about freedom. Like what it's like to not have freedoms. Freedoms to drive, wear what I want, have political opinions and voice them, and freedom of religion.
Last month on the fourth of July, I had another little taste of freedom. I ran in the Freedom Festival's Freedom Run. It was just a little 5K run. Nice and easy, with 3000 other people. Six and a half years ago, when I delivered my third child, my midwife asked me to set a weight goal - associated with being fit. I told her I wanted to run in the Freedom Run. Yep. Six years later, I did it.
As I put my ipod on, (I'm not a true runner, you see - true runners listen to sound of their feet and hear their heart beat. Not me.) I started on the route next to a good friend of mine. We have both struggled with our weight, and being here together felt powerful. I rounded the corner onto Center street, and I couldn't keep the tears of coming. Every time I tried to fight them back, they just kept creeping out again.
I had so many emotions overflowing as I was running through the streets of the United States with thousands of other people. Freedom! I kept thinking, over and over. THIS is freedom. I am wearing what I want, out in public. Celebrating MY freedoms. My country and all that is was founded on. And I felt GREAT. My feet were carrying me. It wasn't hard or difficult - it just felt free.
Last year, in April, I weaned my fifth and last baby. I weighed my all time high. (number I won't horrify you with) I decided then that it was time to lose this weight once and for all. It was been a long hard row, I still have 32 pounds to go, and every day fear putting it back on. I have done everything thing you can think of. I started with walking, ate vegetarian for six months. Then moved on to heavy work outs and lots of lean protein. Three hours a day of working out and committing myself to the best of my ability.
This past week I hit my mark of a seventy pound weight loss. As I was running that day, this was another huge freedom I felt. Freedom from self. Freedom from nearly 70 pounds that were weighing me down, both physically and emotionally. This was a prison I have inflicted on myself over the majority of my life. Every emotion I feel, I fill it with food. I have worked hard this year to try to feel all the aspects of life as JUST feelings. Not with the attachment of eating. I have tried to train my body to work harder and grow all the muscles is has to offer. It hasn't been easy but the pay off has been great;
in fact it has been freeing.
5 comments:
70 pounds! Even after I was there and led you astray, food wise! You ROCK!
And freedom is good too. But 70 pounds. Wow!
That post almost made me put down my frozen yogurt. Almost.
I really want to see pictures! I'm so proud of you and so super aware that I could have lost the same amount in that time, but didn't:( Way to go my dear!!!!
Congratulations! Maybe we won't do brownies and ice cream next time you come over... ;-)
This post made me cry. Good tears. :) You are amazing and inspire me!
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